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Songs: The Same Page Of The Map

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Now, I'm really not complaining
I'm in love, and that's amazing
Bloody brilliant, in fact, but still I wish
That we were in the same postcode
'Cos girl you know if that were so
I would feel rich beyond the dreams of avarice
So when I'm sitting on that train
Going home a-bloody-gain
I'll try to think of simple ways to make things right
For instance, last week, passing Luton
I found a way to make Cold Fusion
Power Pedallos that flew faster than light

And, though I'm grateful and i am glad
That we have found each other at last
Let's ask the Lord, if Buddha's right
On the next turn round of life
Can we please be on the same page of the map?

Oh, if that Midland Mainline Engine
Crossed not Northants but Dimensions
I'd buy a Weekend Rover for worlds where we are
Within easy walking distance
Of each other, even if the
Planet's run by giant jellyfish from Mars

And I'd be grateful, gruesome, but glad
That we had found each other at last
And be they biped, bird or beetle
I'd tell whatever passed for people
That we're living on the same page of the map
The same page of the map

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

Summer of 2001 didn't see many songs coming out of my MIND, largely because I was having a GOOD TIME being in LOVE. This song originated in September that year, when I was standing on Platform 4 of Leicester station at teatime one Sunday, waving goodbye to the Midland In My Mainline as she went back down to London for the week. When the train had gone into the tunnel a woman next to me, who'd obviously been saying goodbye to someone herself, turned round and said "Ooh, it's awful this bit, isn't it?" and I realised that, actually, we weren't the only ones who only got to see each other at weekends.

A startling realisation, but you know how it is in these situations, you always think you are the ONLY person to have SUFFERED SO for LOVE... or at least I do. Anyway, that kicked things off, and the song emerged from that. HOWEVER it went through several revisions, first of all a week or so after I'd written it and put the words online, when Rob pointed out that, though some bits were good, some were a bit self-indulgent and RUBBISH. I took the song away and RETOOLED it, chopping out a whole first verse and adding in an extra one. The song sat around for a couple of years after that, never quite making it into the first RANK of songs ready to go to The Validators, even though I'd always liked it - especially the "biped bird or beetle" line, which makes me SMILE and feel CLEVER every time I hear it. I am indeed my own biggest fan.

Anyway, I got an email from John Jervis, Nicest Man In Indie and PROPRIETOR of Where It's At Is Where You Are, who was putting together a CD compilation of 60 songs, each 60 seconds long, who asked me to do something for him. GUESSING (correctly, as it turned out) that most people involved wouldn't do PROPER SONGS I decided to DO one, with verses and choruses and an INTRO, and dug this song out for another go, with a whole new tune, as I couldn't remember the old one. I soon realised that I was going to have to CHOP some bits out, so first of all removed the second verse and chorus, which went like this:

I tried Time Travel but I guess
It was a little too complex
I may have changed a few things round in history
e.g. the fact men don't wear hats
And the demise of Betamax
And please don't ask why my Great-Grandad looks like me

So I am grateful and I am glad
That we have found each other at last
And if we do reincarnate
Then it would be BLOODY GRATE
If we could be on the same page of the map

I don't think you lose much by not having them, although I WAS disappointed to lose the hats/betamax bit, ESPECIALLY as I'd re-written it ESPECIALLY to get rid of a RUBBISH rhyme about fish knowing how to ski/cars smelling of Brie, which was just a bit DESPERATE. There STILL wasn't enough room for everything, so I had to shift the chorus bit singing "the same page of the map" back to BACKING vocals. THEN it wasn't quite long enough, so that's why there's that backwards bit at the start, to make it exactly right. I think I spent longer doing THAT bit than I did recording the whole rest of the song, so IMAGINE my DESPAIR when the CD came through and I found my bit was 62 seconds long, as they'd added GAPS at either end! GAH!

Still, I think it's RATHER NICE this one, I especially like the BASS bit - this was one of the first things I ever recorded in London and I was WELL chuffed with it. One slight mishap was that, when I was playing the bass line, and dancing around, The Bounce In My Trampoline came in, so, of course, I started dancing around MORE and generally SHOWING OFF... got entangled in my bass lead, tripped, and pulled my whole recording SETUP onto the floor, breaking the lid off my four track! OOPS! I wonder if that used to happen in WINGS a lot?

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