Songs: I've Got What You Need

notes / gigs / releases

Look up my name, you'll get my number
If you want some help around the house
I can come around and take your paper down
And if you like I'll sort your grouting out
I have got my toolbox ready
For any jobs that you want me to do
If your shelf has fallen then give me a call and
I'll come round and get it up for you

I've got what you need
I've got what you need
Oh yeah, I've got what you need

Well you say your boyfriend gives good love
But can he tell you where the stop cock is?
If your fuses blew would he be good for you
Could his plunger get your u-bend fixed?
So when I mend your microwave then maybe
You and me can have a little drink
I'll do your pots and pans, I'll be your handyman
I've got it all except the kitchen sink

I've got what you need
I've got what you need
Oh yeah, I've got what you need

So I came and cleared your drains for you
I gave your guttering a damn good clean
But when I came inside the only thing that I could find
Was five quid and a cup of tea

That's not what I mean
It's not what need
Oh no, it's not what I mean
I've got what you need
Oh yeah, I've got what you need

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

If you think this is a bit of a RUM OLD DO, all I can say is that you should have heard the ORIGINAL version.

Actually, no, you shouldn't. The original version was called "Special Needs", and is ANOTHER of the songs that Rob occasionally campaigns for reinstatement for, as it is NOT the sort of thing you would want to play in polite, or even slightly vulgar company. As mentioned in the notes for RED AND WHITE SOCKETS, I used to play regular gigs with my friend Neil, and he'd always do songs that destroyed people's MINDS with their FAR OUT and/or RUM NESS, so I thought I'd fight back, and similarly to when I tried to do a song in the Frankie Machine IDIOM with THE ONLY THING, went a bit too far.

However, I really liked the tune to the song, and ended up dividing its parts up for later use, with the middle bit becoming the middle of RING YOUR MOTHER and the rest of it becoming this song. Goodness knows where the idea for the subject matter came from, but I do remember GLEEFULLY writing it all out in one big SPLURGE, especially the bit about "I'll do your pots and pans" - I don't know if that IS a common euphemism for anything, but every time I hear it I BLUSH. I think I'd intended to use it for a possible VOON reunion, but it ended up hanging round for ages, until I decided to use the "This Is Not A Library" mastering session to record HIBBETT'S GOLDEN RULES OF BEER and some other tracks instead. I took this one along just in case I had some spare time, with no real plan to do anything with it, just in case anyone asked me for a track for a compilation or anything. A year or so later Rachel from Stupidcat got in touch to ask for a track for their compilation celebrating 50 Silver Rocket Club nights Upstairs At The Garage, where I'd played a few times, and at last this one found a home. Andy, also of Silver Rocket, said "Thanks for the smut!" It's nice to be appreciated.