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Songs: It's A Fair Cop

notes / gigs / releases


Any minute the ticket inspector
Will draw level with my seat and he'll say
This ticket isn't valid
For any kind of travel
Anywhere sir, at this time of day

Any second now the bus conductor
Will tell me We do not accept this pass
Please don't make a fuss
And just get off my bus
You don't belong here and you never have

I'll shrug and say fair cop
I'm actually quite shocked
To have got away with it for this long

Surely someday soon my boss will find out
I've no qualifications for this task
I'll be asked to quietly leave
Handing in my key
To a frowning member of the admin staff

I'll shrug and say fair cop
I'm actually quite shocked
To have got away with it for this long

My friends don't seem to notice that I'm rubbish
God knows how I have fooled them for this long
I'm holding up my hands and saying yes sir
It's must be true, I'm nothing but a con

I'll shrug and say fair cop
I'm actually quite shocked
To have got away with it for this long

My missus hasn't worked out I'm a pillock
For some reason she seems to think I'm cool
I'll maintain the facade
Because it would break my heart
If she worked out how much better she could do

I'll shrug and say fair cop
I'm actually quite shocked
To have got away with it for this long
But baby, I'll repent
My wicked ways I'll mend
And I'll try to be the me you thought you'd got


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

This was my fourteen and a halfth song for February Album Writing Month, a collaboration with Tom From Lardpony. I wrote the words after going to a BRILLIANT gig during which a couple of people said they'd heard me on the radio and somebody else said "we always knew you'd MAKE IT" I felt a bit of a FRAUD, afterwards, and so out fell these words!


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