Songs: If You're Too Turned On

notes / gigs / releases

If you're too turned on, work out complicated foreign phrases
What exactly is the German for "This Sauerkraut is over-priced?"
If you're too turned on, try reconstructing really boring bus-routes
You can occupy your mind with Double Deckers bound for Spinney Hill Rise

And if you suddenly turned psychic in my boudoir you would find
I've got the Innovations Catalogue on my mind
I've got the films of Doug McClure on my mind

If you're too turned on, you want to use pythagoras's thereom
Or minus b plus or minus the square root of b squared minues 4ac over 2a
If you're too turned on, use leaders of the British Labour Party
You can picture Harold Wilson but can you see Mr Gaitskell's face?

And if you suddenly turned psychic in my boudoir you would find
I've got the 17 times table on my mind
I've got the history of Democracy in mind

Oh Enoch Powell, Enoch Powell
Did you think you'd be remembered
As the face that let a thousand nights go on five minutes more?
Oh Enoch Powell, Enoch Powell
You are the loch-keeper of love, there is a river that you're holding back but it's not made of blood

And if you suddenly turned psychic in my boudoir you would find
I've got the things that really matter in my mind
I've got the things that really matter in my mind

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

When Enoch Powell died the media went on and on about what a great statesman and constitutional politician he was, when the only things anybody really remembers him for are being a vile old nazi and having the kind of face guaranteed to switch off those Adolescent Impulses. Shortly after his death I was CHALLENGED to write a song about sex, and so this was my response i.e. so many things are made out to be dead important and necessary, but all it comes down to in the end is - hey - making sweet sweet love. I thank you.

The things thought about in the song changed around quite a lot whilst writing, and changed afterwards in The Live Environment. We used to play this one quite a lot, although I'd often get confused and start playing Payday Is The Best Day instead. Can't think why...

We've had a few notable performances of this one - i remember playing it at Abbey Park Festival with The Durham Ox Singers launching LOUDLY into the "Enoch Powell" bit and people looking a bit AFEARED at what was to come - Sorted Supremo Dave Dixey had suggested changing it to "Peter Powell", but that wouldn't really work, I don't think. The other GRATE time was when I played at a birthday party in a private school, and somebody laughed so hard at the "there is a river" bit that he fell off his chair. ACE!

Oh and Spinney Hill Rise, by the way, is the destination of the 62 bus that I used to get home from Poly. So now you know.