Songs: Dinky Doo

notes / gigs / releases

I wanted to sing you a little song
To tell you how much I love you
To share with you and the whole wide world
Why I gave up Michael Stipe for you

You're one of the most important punks in the country
Yet you listen to Radio 2
Your favourite film is The Sound Of Music
And you love the bloke who says "Dinky Doo"

Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo

So now Mr Tim we are wed
We can parentally legally share a bed
But it doesn't mean I suddenly won't mind you picking your feet
I'll never ever ever ever find that endearing or sweet

Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo

All your memories of things in detail
Your maps and books of the road
Billy Bryson and motorways, power stations
Football and your fear of frogs and toads

Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo

You like to go up mountains, I prefer to look at them
But we both love to cook
I've got an unbaked carrot cake
And you've got your unstarted book

Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo
Dinky doo doo

But remember the truth is I love you
And today we both showed the world
So goodbye Michael Stipe I don't need you
I've got my Tim to have and to hold

Bye bye Michael Stipe
Bye bye Michael Stipe
Bye bye Michael Stipe
I've got my Tim to have and to hold

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

Many many years ago in a pub far away, Miss Emma Smith (as was) approached me with a CUNNING IDEA. She'd recently been to a wedding where, instead of giving a speech, the GROOM had got up and sung a song. This was SUCH a good PLAN that she'd determined to do it herself at HER forthcoming marriage to Mr Tim Pattison, of this Parish. She told me this plan, asked me to help her with the music, and off we sped - a couple of weeks lately she came to my flat (in SECRET) and showed me the words. I had no idea what to do, really, so I asked what songs she could sing, and it turned out Emma can play "Leaving On A Jet Plane", so I determined there and then to use the same chords she used for that, rearranged, of course, so they'd be in the right sort of key.

I think we had a quick go, and over the next couple of weeks I got it worked out, with a couple of minor TWEAKS to the SCANNING and the addition of the Dinky Doo bit - I wish to point out that ALL the rest is Emma's work, and is not necessarily a reflection of my own feelings towards Tim, admire him though I do. We had another meeting to sort it out, and I presented her with my DEMO of the song, which UNFORTUNATELY seems now to have gone missing. As I say, I admire Mr Pattison GREATLY, but was never particularly comfortable with a tape of me singing EXACTLY these lyrics bouncing around in the WILD. When putting together this compilation we originally intended to fade out Emma's vocals at the very end, so you could hear me saying "please NEVER play this to anyone else", but OH WHAT A TRAGEDY they couldn't find the tape. History's loss is my ESCAPE.

Another couple of weeks later Emma came round to record her own vocals, so she could play it to the bridesmaids who would be providing the backing vocals. By this time the secrecy was getting to me a bit, as I'd seen Tim the day before and had to PRETEND not to know any of his news, and remember to NOT say "Yes, Emma told me" NOR "I am secretly seeing you FIANCEE for after-work SESSIONS in my dirty old flat! ARGH!"

Anyway, Emma came round and I'd got everything set up in the living room for her to do her singing. I carefully explained how it would all work, GENTLY took her through the positioning of the microphone, warned her of the volume levels of the headphones, and reassured her that we could have as many "takes", as we call them, as she needed. I set the tape running, then stepped out of the room, so she wouldn't be too nervous.

And she sounded BRILLIANT! I listened AGOG, unable to believe what i was hearing. I came back in and was about to say "Wow!" when Emma, dangling one CAN off her ear, turned round and said "Right, can we track it now?" YOINKS! It was then that I determined to UTILISE her PROWESS in our recordings, but how that came to be is ANOTHER story for another time. What happened NEXT is that there was FURTHER subterfuge, as we had to arrange for one of Emma's brothers to bring a SECRET GUITAR to the wedding reception, and for there to be a SECRET SIGNAL for the song to start, as she wasn't sure whether she'd be able to actually go through with it on the day.

The wedding was BLOODY GRATE - notable highlights, apart from pretty much EVERYONE BLUBBING, was the walk OUT of the church, when they played the end music to Star Wars (it was really COOL), and the place settings, which were PHOTOGRAPHS of everyone that they'd collected over the months beforehand. Actually this was ANOTHER pretence, as we'd been told they were making a Millenium Album of all their pals, and needed pictures. It was a wedding of SUBTERFUGE!

After we'd eaten the speeches began, and as PER there was much GOODNESS, and I seem to recall Tim making a very lengthy extended metaphor that we all spent a while afterwards trying to work out, but which still made us all CRY, and then we got THE SIGNAL. I hurried and got the guitar, and if you watch the VIDEO that was included on Warriors Of Nanpantan you will see a rather PORTLY Hibbett in a bright orange shirt THUDDING across the background whilst Emma and the bridesmaids gathered together. As you can see, it was a thing of ENORMOUS beauty and joy to all, it's just a shame that you CAN'T see the rest of the room, which was packed with big tough Geordie Men crying like BAIRNS at the end. I don't blame them, I did too, and I've had a manly tear or too watching back all these years later. BLESS.