Blog: Hibbett 1 Pam Ayres 0

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A few months ago I had a discussion with Mr C Flowers of The Fighting Cocks about whether it is possible for women to be camp. He seemed to think so, and today i am forced to AGREE with him, for LO! I have been to THE DENTIST!

This was quite a monumental decision for me as I had not been to the dentist for SEVENTEEN YEARS. Hey, Thatcher abolished free dentistry just before i went off to Poly, and as I never really had any problems I just didn' tbother. HOWEVER, a little while ago i had a PAINFUL bit of toothache, and as my teeth generally LOOK a bit grubby i thought it was probably about time i faced the music.

Thankfully The Correct Motion Of My Toothbrush came with me, and we set off EXTREMELY EARLY this morning to get there. When we arrived I had to fill in a form about my medical history, and then got my HEAD X-RAYED. Shortly after i met THE DENTIST, who was a LOVELY, rather CAMP, Spanish Woman. "Come in Darling! " she said. "17 years! Oh my! Aaah, you have brought your WIFE! All my male patients, their wifes tell them to come. Now my dear, let us see what 17 years have done!"

She was, as stated, QUITE CAMP, and it would have all been quite JOLLY and exciting if i wasn't expecting her to FALL AWAY from my GAPING MAW in HORROR the moment she leaned in, but it didn't quite turn out that way. "Hmm... you are proving dentists wrong!" she said. "We say you need to come in ever six months, but not you! 17 years, and not so bad!"

I was, i must admit, SOMEWHAT RELIEVED, but also QUITE SMUG, especially when she added "You have good diet, yes?" "Oh yes", i answered, Quite Smugly. Shortly afterwards the results of the X-RAY turned up, and she had a PROPER LOOK round my GOB. It turns out my gums are Slightly Grubby, so I'm going to get a BIG CLEAN round them and, i think, the rest of my MUSH, and also have ONE Posh Filling put in. The overall cost for check up, cleaning appointments, fillings and what-nots, works out to just slightly over 10 quid per year.

HA! Take THAT British Dentistry and your "come ever six months" craziness! And take THIS, Pam Ayres - i DID look after me teeth! I WIN!

I may not be quite so pleased as this next week when I've had THE WORK done tho...

posted 7/9/2005 by MJ Hibbett

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Comments:

DENTAL JUDO!
posted 8/9/2005 by Dan

I thought my 10 year record was quite impressive. You give us all hope
Mr H. Good to see you at the fest! -J.Yeah
posted 8/9/2005 by Anonymous

I am also hitting the dentists' next week for the first time in 17 years. Mark, d'you think I should take some of my camp women with me? (ayeee!)
posted 8/9/2005 by Charlie Flowers

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