Blog: London!

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I headed off to BRIXTON again after work last night to go and see The Fighting Cocks. As previously discussed, there was a time when going to see them was a thing of FEAR: they'd be playing somewhere DODGY (who can forget the classic Garage Showing Dwarf Porn gig?), there'd be a TENSE ATMOSPHERE, quite possibly a FITE onstage, and a general feeling of ANGER and GRR!

Nowadays, since the new lineup of LOVELY PEOPLE all is JOY and BEAUTY. I arrived to find almost everybody relaxed and happy (so relaxed and happy that later on they didn't realise they were supposed to be on stage...), and had a DELIGHTFUL chat with Charlie about whether or not women can be CAMP. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work, but I am willing to be persuaded. Soon they were onstage and there was JOLLITY and NICENESS all round. OK, this does tend to undermine the bits where they go "YO GANGSTAS! POP A CAP IN YR ASS!" and such like, but personally i find it MUCH better all round to actually ENJOY the gig and not have to worry about someone in the band wanting to STRANGLE somebody else. For the first time in AGES they also did a NEW SONG! And it was GRATE! Apparently it mentions ME too, but i didn't hear that bit - but hey, surely that would only make it MORE GRATE?

I set off home full of LIGHT and FUN, only to be THWARTED by the Dark Underside Of London. As i may have said before, I'm not sure if London GENERATES Utter Wankers, or whether it is a MAGNET for them from all over the country, but GOODNESS ME there are an awful lot of them about. The walk down Brixton Hill was PAVED with them, and then when i got ON the tube i was joined in the carriage by a bunch of New Romantics. EXACTLY the sort of people that i was put in mind of when I saw Gary LeStrange - dressed like Wazzocks, and very LOUDLY SELF SATISFIED with themselves for being so. I always think it's the mark of a DULLARD to do this - if you ARE different, go out and BE different. Unfortunately it takes a lot less effort and imagination just to DRESS differently, and so dreary people tend to take this option instead.

Thus PEEVED i hopped off at Stockwell and waited AGES for another train. I got into carriage with two TEENAGERS, who spent the entire journey saying "Gwan rood, naah wah me say, truth?" and suchlike despite REALLY REALLY NOT being from THE BRONX, and a bunch of extremely drunk JUNIOR DOCTORS trying to persuade each other to "Take a SIP! Oh LOR! Be a SPORT!"

I got off at Liverpool Street, later in my journey, for a COMFORT BREAK, and as i walked the length of the TOOB i noticed the train wasn't moving. The reason for this was one of those Standard Issue Drunk Old Glaswegians that, before i came to live in their Spiritual Heartland, I thought were evil outdated stereotypes. He had his arse sticking out of the doors, so that the train couldn't move, and having seen him doing this the whole walk down the platform i thought "RIGHT!" so when I got behind him i turned and shoved him in. The doors shut, the engine started, and i, my dear, felt like BATMAN!

Other trains followed full of even MORE people being LOUDLY TOSSY, but i didn't mind so much anymore as I'd felt i'd at least DONE something now. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE living in London - it's PACKED with GRATE THINGS to see and do (like going to the Houses Of Parliament!) and I've met TONS of lovely people and can't see myself wanting to leave here for a LONG OLD TIME, but GOLLY it doesn't half play host to some wazzocks.

posted 13/5/2005 by MJ Hibbett

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Comments:

The dwarf porn gig was GOOD for dwarf porn and things, but not so good for the fighting on stage.

Can I pimp my blog here too?
posted 16/5/2005 by Pauly

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