Blog: In Your Face, Younger Me!

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You find me this evening EXHAUSTED, yet TRIUMPHANT for i have beaten my Nemesis: ME, Aged 12! HA!

See, I've been doing a lot of swimming just lately, and it's always been in the lengthy shadow of my younger self. Sure, swimming 30 lengths of a lunch time (i.e. 750m) is all well and HEALTHY, but it as NOTHING to the 52 lengths (1300m, metric fans) i swam in the Deeping Leisure Centre, aged 12, and i did THAT without stopping every ten lengths for a breather. PAH! I didn't used to mind when I used to go swimming in Leicester, but the pool i go in now is exactly the same length as the one in Deeping, so it always RANKLED.

However, RANKLE NO MORE, for this very evening i swam 60 (SIXTY) lengths (1500m!), WITHOUT stopping, and thus CRUSHED my younger self LIKE A BUG! HA! Eat my LUNCH, 12 year old me, i have made your achievements as NOTHING with my mighty efforts! YES!

Actually I am rather fond of Little Me, and in some ways it's a bit SAD that i have finally surpassed the Athletic Height of my youth (it wasn't long after the record was made that i fell into FOOD and COMICS to a much greater level) but hey! those are the sort of thoughts I utilised to FUEL my marathon swim. In fact, it's a bloody good job humanity has developed an INNER VOICE, as if i had been Speaking My Mind as i swum there would have been TROUBLE. There's a Kids' Class in my pool on a Friday afternoon, so there were real live 12 year olds messing around and GETTING IN THE WAY - FUELLING my thoughts of VENGEANCE - and it wouldn't have looked good if i had been barrelling along shouting "HA! Puny 12 year olds! You are RUBBISH!" now would it?

When I got out i heard two of the 12 year olds talking about getting PIERCINGS, and I thought "Hey, The Kids! Do not try to grow up so quick, being one of The Kids is not all that bad, and your Older Self will probably thank you for taking care. He may try and beat your ATHLETIC RECORDS but he is old and has recently discovered HAIR growing out of his EARS (NB true, and TERRIFYING), so do not judge him too harshly."

As I say, thank heavens we don't say everything we think OUT LOUD...

posted 3/12/2004 by MJ Hibbett

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