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Blog: People Who Will Be Severely Censured When A Grateful Nation Hands Me The Reins Of Power: 5

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People who stand in doorways. Specifically, large groups of people standing around YAKKING in the entrance to a large building who are completely unaware that it IS an entrance to a large building and loads of people are actually tyring to actually get actually in, actually actually.

I mean, for PITY'S sake! The trouble is that, working in Academia, i come into contact with this sort of person A LOT, as generally the Realising That People Want To Get Through The Door GENE doesn't seem to bloody kick in until the age of 22 or something. Yesterday, for instance, i Popped Into The Bank At Lunchtime (i am an ADULT, this is the sort of thing i am WONT to do), only to find a huge unruly MOB of people, MILLING around the bank. YOUTHS were sat READING BOOKS in the entrance way - what on earth was THAT all about? Christ! We can TELL that you're a student, there's no need to prove the point by whipping a Penguin Classic out, and anyway, it's a LOVELY day, why can't you go and read in a park or something? But anyway, yeah, there was a MILLING THRONG filling up the queue, most of whom, it turned out, weren't even queuing! Maybe, once, long ago, that was the original intent, but the gormless NURS spotted someone they knew and, with no THOUGHT for the needs of fellow citizens, i.e. ME, just stopped where they were and started BLATHERING on about "I was so drunk? So i threw up? And couldn't get in for lectures?" ETC ETC ET BLOODY C!

The MOST annoying bit is when you do say "Er... excuse me", or eventually GIVE UP and SLIDE past, these gets will HARRUMPH and MOAN, saying "What? Hur? Fascists? Get out of the way?" and then go back to claiming to a) be "mad" b) have done no work c) have spent all their loan? In the first week?

Anyway, I HARRUMPHED myself, STRIDING back to work afterwards, only stopping to get a SARNIE, where i discovered it's not just The Kids who do this, for LO! standing, in the near-middle of the shop, taking up almost all of the room and blocking BOTH to doorway AND the drinks cabinet, were a bunch of bloody college lecturers. They were banging on about someone making them DO something or other, but generally just GETTING IN THE WAY. I mean, for GOODNESS SAKE! Did i just miss that bit of the induction or something? Do people get SPAN in a JOE 90 CHAIR that makes them unable to notice doors or something?

Bah! Humbug!

posted 18/3/2003 by MJ Hibbett

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