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It's been a funny afternoon - i went swimming and TOOK IT OUT quite strongly on the water, then got changed GRUMBLING. I got ANNOYED with traffic coming back to the office. I booked me and The Sand On My Beach three nights in BARCELONA and, apart from being STUNNED by having done so, fell into MORE Grumbly Mood about the fact that i haven't INSTANTLY had confirmation AND tickets.

So, basically, i've been in a bit of a Pissy Mood all afternoon, and this was PUZZLING me - why should i be so? Life, with the possible exception of Lack Of Central Line, is Pretty Darn Good at the moment - I'm living in a NICE house with the woman i love, a lot, I've got a smashing job that's paying me £4 a month more than i can spend (bank statement came last night!), and to top it all, tonight i've got a GIG!

Oh yeah... that would explain it then. It's THE NERVES!

I ALWAYS forget about this bit, even though it happens almost every time i get a gig. Sometimes it starts an hour or so before, sometimes during the day or even the day before, and on one dreadful occasion it started a WEEK before, but whenever it comes it is HORRID. Honestly, don't come near me when I'm like this - i am NOT a happy person and liable to a) SNAP! GRR! or b) whimper in a corner. I mean, i know I'll be all right, I'm pretty sure there'll be a few people there, and from past experience I know that even the WORST it can go (i.e. breaking strings + being generally ignored except for Nasty Heckling + forgetting words + Being Far Too Drunk) is hardly the worst thing that has or will ever happened to me, but still i gets THE FEAR.

The nice thing is, however, that when this wears off (usually about 5 seconds into the first song) i feel GRATE. The "downside" (sort of) is that AFTER the gig i have an RAGING THIRST and a very very low BEER threshold, right at the point when i am most likely to recieve FREE BEER... it's tough, but somehow i struggle on.

posted 5/3/2003 by MJ Hibbett

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