Blog: HairCUT

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YOINKS! Call me CAPTAIN METROSEXUAL, for LO! I have just been and had a PROPER HAIRCUT!

For YEARS - indeed, pretty much since first i came to That London - i have been singing the praises of Mr Topper's Original Six Pound Barbers (formerly Mr Topper's Original Five Pound Barbers) as they do a SWIFT job of cutting your hair and it only costs six (formerly five) quid so to do. There's one round the corner from work so when I'm starting to Look Like One Of The Band i NIP round and get a quick Number Three. It's FAST, it's EASY, it's INEXPENSIVE and... well, to be honest, it's not always all that good. Sometimes you get someone who knows what they're doing and the result is FINE, other times (and lately MOST times) you just get your HAIR shaved off.

Again, this is FINE for a few weeks but then it tends to GROW OUT at different speeds and look RUM: lately for instance i am resembling a cross between DOUGLAS HURD and YAHOO SERIOUS. Aaah, i remember the days when my hair used to grow DOWN into FLOWING LOCKS, now it just grows straight up in a desperate bid for freedom which, in some areas, it is WINNING. The other thing, see, is that I have Low Hair Areas (anyone who says baldy bits IS IN TROUBLE) on either side of my head - me and my maternal-sided brothers have all inherited this from my GRANDAD on that side of the family, who looked like a white haired Ray Reardon from the GRATE BUSHY EYEBROWS (which i also seem to have inherited, but with GLEE this time) upwards. A couple of years ago i got a GOOD haircut and was AMAZED to find that Hairdressing Technology could disguise this somewhat simply by LEAVING SOME OF IT A BIT LONGER (anyone whispering "comb over" - WATCH IT!) so have quested for it ever since.

So yes, to cut a long story short, it seemed like a good idea to get my hair cut PROPERLY this time, and The Blade In My Razor has been EXHORTING me to get on and DO it for the past couple of weeks. The other day I strolled down nearby STORE STREET and realised there was a proper hairdressers there so, this morning, had a second look through the window, then RANG them from the office to arrange an appointment. It was the first time EVER IN MY LIFE i have had to make an appointment to get my hair cut, as i am SUCH a rugged he-man of the old school, and it felt a bit weird, especially as a) i don't really like getting my hair cut and b) i now had five hours to wait until i went under THE BLADE.

I rolled up on time, waited a few minutes for my turn, was asked if i wanted a cup of coffee (i said no - surely there'd be no TIME for this?!?) and then got led TO A SINK! A SINK! I leant back and - get this - an Assistant came over and WASHED MY HAIR!!! Then MASSAGED MY HEAD!

It was all I could do to sit still - what ELSE were they going to try and do to me? She then TOWEL RUBBED it and led me back to their chair, where my head was rubbed again, I was offered ANOTHER cup of coffee, and then they put the traditional SHEET round my neck. This at last was a bit more familiar, until she then put a RUBBER MAT THING (like out of the footwell of a car) round my neck to hold down the sheet. I felt like some DARK SUPERVILLAIN from ANCIENT EGYPT or something, with my FLOWING BLACK CAPE emerging from my ceremonial RUBBER CAR CARPET.

After that the hairdresser guy came over and offered me MORE COFFEE. It was very nice of them, but i still don't see when I'm supposed to have been able to drink it, i couldn't have done when my head was in the sink and I certainly wasn't about to start ducking and diving for cups when there were SHARPENED BLADES flying around my ears. He then spent about twenty minutes snipping away, i was quite impressed with the attention to detail tho not sure that even I would consider my head quite the WORK OF ART he was treating it as.

The whole process took half an hour - not as long as it seems to take for GURLS to have THEIR hair cut, but still about six times longer than most other haircuts in my LIFE - and it looks pretty good. The only thing is, normally I'm used to looking in shop windows and thinking "AAH! look at my HEAD! It is TOTALLY DIFFERENT!" and feeling that that means I've had my money's worth. NOW i look in the mirror and think "Oh yes, that looks quite good - not as DASHING AND HANDSOME as the Personal Image i carry in my MIND, but all right". It's a GOOD feeling, but not quite what I'm used to.

Now to MOISTURIZE!

posted 16/2/2007 by MJ Hibbett

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Comments:

going to the hairdressers is so 20th century - just buy some clippers and be the MASTER of your own GROWTH

Not doing this leads to Barbers, Barbers lead to hair-do's and hair-do's lead to suffffferrriinggggg
posted 16/2/2007 by Francis

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