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Songs: Two Drips, One Pane

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She sings cover versions
Sitting at a sad piano
She takes songs that you love
And does them really slow
She's so vulnerable
It's impossible to hate her
Singing like a cartoon rabbit
Who's mislaid her inhaler

She's a drip from a tear
On the window of the last bus home
She's a drip
In a bobble hat
Sitting there on her own
She's a drip
And she'll ruin
Every song you've ever known

He writes his own material
On acoustic guitar
He mumbles words so meaningful
Nobody knows what they are
With his eyes closed he's so earnest
All he really want's a cuddle
Honking like a depressed duck
Suffering from sinus trouble

He's a drip from a tear
In a pint glass when the lights go on
He's a drip
Nodding thoughtfully
When the DJ drops a certain song
He's a drip
And he always plays for far too long

At a PRS Showcase
For young talent on the rise
Their Lady Di-like eyes met
Over complimentary wine
When they spoke she heard a key change
He felt his orchestra surge
Their souls both scatted adlibs
Like their hearts had forgot the words
And in the moment that they kissed
It made a sponsored playlist

From two drips
Running down one window pane
They're two drips
And they're sharing the same pane

Now they're so happy together
Two days out of five
On the next two there's a break-up
Which they know they won't survive
On the fifth day then they make-up
Which creates the final verse
So Ducky makes a rotten demo
And Bunny makes it even worse

Two drips from two tears
Running down one pane of glass
They're two drips and they're happy
That they make each other sad
Cos these two drips got paid to make
The next John Lewis Christmas Ad

Two drips
One pane
Two drips
Got paid

Yes, all right, I'm jealous
For I have tried
To write a song for an advert
Many many times
Give us something quirky they say
But what they really mean
Is give us Badly Drawn Boy
But cheap
So I will never sell out
Unless someone asks
For Boom Shake The Room on a ukelele
Then baby I'm your man!



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

I was siting in a coffee shop on holiday in Belfast in 2017 listening to a playlist of really dreary, very serious, Singer Songwriter Songs. The Mic In My Stand and I got talking about how dreadful that sort of thing is, and it led to me writing this song.

I sent it to The Validators and they thought it was "a bit mean" so we didn't use it. The chord progression, however, was later sent to Mr J Dredge who turned it into The Plinths song "Where I Used To be" - I do hate to waste!


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