Songs: Apocalypse Prepared

notes / gigs / releases

Vampires, earthquakes, meteorites
The rise of the machines
Werewolves, rapture, nanotech
They don't bother me
Global warming, solar flares
I've read it all before
I've kept my DVD boxsets
Behind the shelter door

Cos I've read comics
And I've watched telly
Come the apocalypse I'll be ready
I'll know exactly what to do
Which does not include saving you

If there's a zombie outbreak
Or if evil aliens land
I'll be fine cos I've stocked up
On water and bullets and cans
And when you beg for help I'll say
Didn't you used to teach
On a mandatory all-day course
That began with "a little bit about me"?

And I bet you voted UKIP
I bet you voted leave
I bet you think The Beatles
Are not as good as Queen

Well I've read comics
And I've watched telly
Come the apocalypse I'll be ready
I'll know exactly what to do
Which does not include saving you

When it isn't Easter I bet you buy hot cross buns
You sent X Factor to Christmas Number one
You leave reciepts in the cash machine
On a crowded train you give your bag a seat
You don't send Christmas cards or give to charity
You have opinions about lossless mp3s

I've read comics
And I've watched telly
Come the apocalypse I'll be ready
I'll know exactly what to do
Which does not include saving you

I'm prepared for anything
Except, maybe, what if
It's you who's actually all right
And it's me who is the git?

I've read comics
And I've watched telly
Come the apocalypse I'll be ready
I'll know exactly what to do
Which does not include saving you

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing



This was originally called 'Come The Inevitable Apocalypse', had an entirely different tune, and was much more focused on the fact that reading comics and science fiction books, and watching shows based on the same, was excellent training for the inevitable apocalypse. It seemed to go on for AGES and, though Tim liked it, it was never much of a hit with The Validators, so during the 'No Headliner' Tour of 2019 (when i was performing AND writing new songs) I decided to have a go at re-doing it, editing the words down and using the (much better) tune from a song called 'Wallies' that had similar one-Validator-only support (this time from Frankie).

I finally re-did it AGANE for the recording of the album version, chopping and changing around the verses and trying to make it a LOT simpler and basically a LIST song of Annoying Things. I think it's OK as a song, but I flipping LOVE the intro and outro, and had pretty much the most fun of ANY aspect of the album recording when I did the Sound Effects Solo!