For lunch i will often have a FRUIT SELECTION - it's LIKE having a mars bar, insomuch as it's all DECADENT and COSTLY, but dissimilar INSOMUCH as it's... er... fruit, instead of chocolate. The past couple of times I've bought one it's had a rather DELIGHTFUL addition to the packaging: a SPORK!
What a FANTASTIC word that is - SPORK! Just THINKING it fills one with happiness. SPORK! It is, as i am sure you have guessed, the Actual Name for those little plastic spoons that also work as forks. A SPORK!
OH! how much more thrilling would Imaginary Dinner Parties BE if you could lean over and say "Do you need a SPORK, your worship?" or "Would you pass me a fresh SPORK, my good man? I fear i have SPORKED too energetically!" It wouldn't be anything LIKE as much fun if it was called a FOON... or would it. "I thay! Ith that my FOON you're uthing, arch-ducheth?" Actually, that's not bad either.
FIFE AND KNORK!
In other news, I'm on stage at 10pm on Thursday at the 12 Bar in That London. I will try and have got all of this out of my system by then.
posted 26/7/2005 by MJ Hibbett