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Blog: I Have Seen Avengers:Endgame

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I have two vital and important things to say right from the start about "Avengers: Endgame". Firstly, I shall be disclosing no spoilers of any kind WOTSOEVER in this blog, and secondly, and most importantly of all, I HAVE SEEN "AVENGERS:ENDGAME"!

The thing about spoilers always really winds me up, ESPECIALLY when ARTICLES think they're being really clever and say "No spoilers, but CHARACTER X does not appear in this film", as that IS a bloody spoiler. Or "No spoilers, but watch out for the bit with ITEM Y" because, OBVS, that tells you ITEM Y will flipping be in it. I really REALLY wanted to see this film without a clue what was going to be in it, and THUS the only way TO do that, I reasoned, was to go and see it as SOON as I possibly could.

So it was that I got up at 5.50 AM in the morning on Thursday to go to the 6.30 AM in the morning show at my local VUE cinema. When I booked the tickets several days before I thought this would be a) a bit KRAZY but also b) BLOODY GRATE and I have to say I stand by both opinions. Walking through Westfield Shopping Centre with most of the lights off felt a BIT like going on holiday on an early flight, and also a bit like going to a temp job when I was in my 20s, except instead of going to e.g. sweep up on a building site I was going to THE PICTURES!

As I walked through Westfield I saw various other people heading the same way, and when I got to the Vue it felt like a communal activity, as we presented our tickets to the one member of staff who appeared to be on duty. I'd booked my seat in the very first row as I was aware that the film was THREE HOURS long and so I would require an easily accessible LOO BREAK, but as the (many, many) adverts rolled I thought "I really don't want to spend all that time craning my neck like this," so when we FINALLY got to the trailers (honestly, it was 6.30 AM in the MORNING, couldn't they have just got ON with it?) I went and sat a few seats back, which was MUCH better. The screen was about half full, which is pretty much perfect I always reckon, as there's SPACE but enough people to make the LARFS and the GASPS audible.

And MY WORD but there were LARFS and ESPECIALLY gasps - the latter ESPECIALLY with the bit involving CHARACTER X and ITEM Y! There were also a LOT of TEARS. Good LORD I practically SOBBED my way through half of it, and LARFED some more and then, towards the end, sat clutching my VERY BRANE for fear of it EXPLODING through the things I was watching. As I said the other day, when I saw the first "Avengers" film I could not BELIEVE I was actually watching a film with Iron Man AND Captain America AND Thor in it, but this made THAT look like WAITING FOR GODOT.

Basically, it was completely and utterly BRILLIANT and quite possibly the best film I have EVER seen at the cinema. Yes yes I'm sure there are much more cleverer/funnier/insightful or whatever films that work as a standalone, but as the culmination of over TWENTY FILMS over the course of a DECADE this was bloody astonishing. I still keep THINKING about bits of it and LARFING/GASPING/SNIFFLING over 24 hours later.

The only downside of the whole thing really was that seeing it SO early means that nobdoy else I know has been yet. So please, can everyone go this weekend so I can talk about it? You will not regret it!

posted 26/4/2019 by MJ Hibbett

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