Blog: Lizards In The Upstairs Bar

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I was in the pub last night with my brother, his Mrs, Mr P Knight, and The Pastry Round My Mince Pie, and we were having a FINE old time when we suddenly noticed a long line of IDENTICALLY attired men going by. They ALL had the same striped trousers, long black coast, shirts and tie, and they were ALL carrying identical briefcases. Wave after wave of them went up and we fell to discussing what on EARTH was going on - a BOUNCERS' convention? SPIES? Or - as the aforesaid Ties On My Apron asserted - MASONS?

We were loudly discussing it when a small GREY coated gentleman went by. "AH!" i said "He must be the leader, he's the only one allowed to wear GREY!" "No, it's this bloke just coming in" said someone to our right, and we realised that we were stood next to even MORE black coated blokes. These ones, however, were obviously the NAUGHTY ones, who, if back seats of a bus were available would SIT on them, as they were getting in a cheeky PINT before going upstairs. I asked what it was about and they said "DEVIL WORSHIP!"

We pretended to believe them, but i asked again when we got to the bar to find that they were indeed MASONS. AHA! You'd think a SECRET SOCIETY in thrall to our LIZARD OVERLORDS would make a bit more effort about a secret dress code wouldn't you? And possibly meet in a FLYING SAUCER rather than a pub. Mind you, it was The Ship in Holborn, where the BEER is DELICIOUS.

Once they'd all gone there was much more room and we rather JOYOUSLY managed to get ourselves a proper TABLE. Pete got some Mince Pies, we discussed Highlights Of 2007, and I inadvertently drank some VERY STRONG BEER. It was CHRISTMAS-TASTIC!

posted 20/12/2007 by MJ Hibbett

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