My Exciting Life in ROCK (part 2): 30/10/2004 - University of Sheffield Students' Union, Sheffield

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Now this, THIS, was the sort of gig you DREAM about playing. It was ROCK!

The Fuzztival is ALWAYS a GRATE gig, because it's all done so PROPERLY - I'm sure some bands are used to having ARMBANDS to allow them access to the BACKSTAGE AREA where there is BEER and FOOD, but to me it was GLAMOUR CITY. I had PRIVELEGED ACCESS to some BISCUITS! I AM TOMMY LEE!

Maybe that was why things went to my head a little and I caused a RUCKUS about the rider. I said "Is there anything apart from Stella and Cider please?" ROCK MONSTER! Excitingly Penny, who runs these gigs, got on her WALKIE TALKIE and sent a LACKEY down to the corner shop to buy me some GUINNESS!! It was like being in GUNS AND ROSES!

Also in attendance was the journalist and broadcaster Mr Steve Lamacq who was DJing later but had come along to see my set. As I stood there sipping my FREE STOUT in the DJ BOX, chatting about Current Issues, I thought "This is how it's SUPPOSED to be - this must be what THE BIG TIME feels like!"

Usually, for me, it would be at THAT point that the venue caught fire, or the manager came over and said "Hand on, you're not Craig David, there's been a terrible mistake!" but things CARRIED on being brilliant, and I had a FAB gig. Again, the Fuzztival is always GRATE for the gig bit, as whatever time you're on it's always full of STUDENTS (admittedly they're not there to see me - Fuzztival always has the CREAM of up and coming indie types) and they're ALWAYS drunk, but this one went especially well with a HUGE wave of audience participation. I think it helped that lots of them had seen me when I'd played the year before and knew the words - I've now played SIX Fuzztivals (and FOUR other all-dayers in the summer) so that has carried on, so much so that I believe annual attendance at MY set counts as a module in most exam courses there.

When i came off I was MANHANDLED by Mr Steve Lamacq, who'd never seen me play before had so enjoyed it (or possibly been so RELIEVED) that he came over for a BIG MANLY HUGE. A manly hug from one of the most respected broadcasters in Britain, what could be better?

How about having a MASSIVE CROWD OF YOUNG WOMEN pounce on you, TEAR one of the most respected broadcasters in Britain off you, and form a QUEUE to give you MONEY? For LO! THAT is what happened - a genuine actual QUEUE of young LADIES (OK and several blokes too, but GURLS counts double) who wanted to buy records off me. It was AMAZING!

The AMAZINGNESS continued for the rest of the day, as after wandering around the venue for a bit, just in case any OTHER young people wished to a) tell me I was GRATE b) buy some records (I'm SO helpful) I got the last train home and arrived chez moi JUST in time for CURRY. RESULT!

I told the story that night as we ate and thought that that was as good as it could get... until a few weeks later when The Bands On My Bill and I went out for a drink in Islington, and noticed the aforesaid Steve Lamacq on the other side of the room. "Should I go over and say hello?" I asked her, not wanting to disturb the great man in his quiet time, but I didn't have to. He saw us and STORMED OVER, said to The Beer In My Barrel "You'll never guess what happened the last time I saw Mark" and proceeded to tell the whole story ALL OVER AGAIN, with added ACTIONS to describe how he was THROWN, DISCARDED across the room by a MASSIVE CROWD OF GURLS!

If gigs can get any better than THAT, i want to know about it. Also, play them!

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